Around this time of the year in 2008, i was frantically engrossed in finishing up the last few chapters of my thesis which amounted of 10000+ words. My dissertation (for an hons degree) was about the use of stories to develop speaking skills among young learners. So, i had to do background research on the advantages and the disadvantages of using stories. I also had to read up on the theories of young learners' language learning etc. The dateline was on the 26th of November if I could remember. The meet ups with my supervisor, the tedious and tiring process of editing the drafts, you name it!
Seriously, life was insane back then even though that was only a dissertation for a degree programme! Stayed up during the nights (since i work best at night), slept during the day, skipped meals, tears, tears and pool of tears. Alhamdulillah, everything paid off as I got first class for my dissertation. Looking back, I am proud that I managed to go through that tough time with the endless support from my dearest family who were thousands and thousands of miles away from me. Not to forget, my beloved friends and even my ex boyfriend who kept his promise to always be there for me at all times. T_T Okay, i'm being slightly emotional here. :p But that's the truth. These people were my motivation, and i owe them.
Now, my juniors are going through the hectic and madness time of the year in trying to complete their dissertations. I read their shout outs, blog posts and I just can't help to think of the times that i went through, just like them. And my advice to them, hang on there, find your source of motivation, the urge to keep you going and to strive for excellence. Give your best shot, doa and then tawakal. Insyaallah you'll make through :)
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
Sunday, 25 October 2009
Reflecting on relationships
I just completed reading a really good book by an ustaz who is famous for his writing, saifulislam.com. I got to know about the author and the site when i was studying in the UK. The title of the book is 'Aku Terima Nikahnya'. As catchy as the title itself, the book is a must read to all. The content is not too heavy, a pleasure to read during our spare time.
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Before this, i've always viewed marriage as one of the ways to escape from committing the sins of being in a girlfriend-boyfriend affair. But that was totally a wrong concept that had been developed. As the writer has argued, if we can't even restrain ourselves from the challenges and sins of being in a bf-gf relationship, what else the challenges after marriage; trust, resposibilities,economic crisis etc. Marriage is not always a happily-ever-after plot as depicted in movies or stories (especially those by Walt Disney production). There are the ups and downs....
(interruption: my eldest sister, kak moon, is busy applying mascara and lipgloss on me while im writing this post~ cehhh~)okay, back to business...
The same with a gf and bf affair. The sky is not always sunny, it may rain at times. The writer suggested to the singles, not to start a relationship (or even think of starting one)if we have no plan to take the realtionship one step further (i.e marriage)within at least 2 years time. Or else the relationship will become 'murky and muddy' and then there will come endless fights and quarrels that'll lead to heartaches and eventually breakup. I couldn't agree more with the author, as i believed i went through the same situation with my ex. We were together for 3 years and i ended it. But, i'm thankful that we're still friends even after all the things that we went through.
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Marriage as portrayed in this book is a stage when you see yourself as a giver rather than a receiver. You're always wanting to give the best and not expecting too much from your spouse. Marriage is also about accepting one as he/she is and complementing each other to lead a just life. I like the way the author pictured it; 'kebaikan dan kelebihannya disyukuri, kelemahannya diredhai'. How blissful!
The author also talked about the Irish culture on treating their young ones. They always take the time and effort to listen to what their children have to say. They even entertain the endless queries from their children (just like the advert by Petronas 'ayah, ni burung apa?'...sweet). They also have the time to take their kids for a stroll at the park.
Infact, I even noticed this type of culture among the Brits in the UK. It is normal to see parents walking their children at the park, young daddies pushing the stroller at malls etc. Me and a good friend of mine (kak yuni) would always observed this scenario and commented on it. We would always say 'jangan harapla nak tgk this kind of situation kat Malaysia, very rare to witness'. Then we would pray 'hopefully dpt husband mcm th, ameen'. :) You see, it is good to become observant of other cultures of the world so that we can adopt what's good from them and learn from the consequences of the not-so-good things that they do. I'm thankful to God for the opportunities.
Not just that, even among the elder couples (probably around 60's or 70's), i could still see them holding hands when they walk. Sweet!~ (^_^)On the other hand, a different situation in Malaysia, it's difficult to see married couples (after a few years of marriage, especially those with kids) holding hands when they walk. Masa couple je beriya nak pegang tangan xnak lepas~ A sad situation. *sigh~* How i wish things would be different...
****************************************************************************************
To encapsulate things, these are generally the few main ideas that i learn from my reading:
1) kita tidak perlu memulakan hubungan jika dalam jangka masa terdekat, tiada kemungkinan perhubungan itu akan dinaik taraf menjadi perkahwinan...
2) komitmen 'atas angin' yang tidak disegerakan kepada sebuah perkahwinan sering berakhir hanya disebabkan oleh emosi yang diterjemahkan ia sebagai JEMU... (oh, very true~ tskkk)
3) in a marriage, kebaikan and kelebihan our spouse haruslah disyukuri and kelemahannya diredhai...because marriage is about complementing one another for the betterment of all.
4) marriage is not all about being on cloud 9 at all times, there are the ups and downs that the married have to go through
5) parents aren't always right...listen to what your children have to say...they also have their own faculty of thoughts.
6) adopt whatever good values that we can learn from other people's culture and learn from their mistakes
Wallahu'alam~
p/s: Read the book for a clearer picture and better understanding of the ideas. I'm basically writing from my own understanding of what i read, injecting a little bit of my views ad experiences in it...happy reading! (^_^)
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Before this, i've always viewed marriage as one of the ways to escape from committing the sins of being in a girlfriend-boyfriend affair. But that was totally a wrong concept that had been developed. As the writer has argued, if we can't even restrain ourselves from the challenges and sins of being in a bf-gf relationship, what else the challenges after marriage; trust, resposibilities,economic crisis etc. Marriage is not always a happily-ever-after plot as depicted in movies or stories (especially those by Walt Disney production). There are the ups and downs....
(interruption: my eldest sister, kak moon, is busy applying mascara and lipgloss on me while im writing this post~ cehhh~)okay, back to business...
The same with a gf and bf affair. The sky is not always sunny, it may rain at times. The writer suggested to the singles, not to start a relationship (or even think of starting one)if we have no plan to take the realtionship one step further (i.e marriage)within at least 2 years time. Or else the relationship will become 'murky and muddy' and then there will come endless fights and quarrels that'll lead to heartaches and eventually breakup. I couldn't agree more with the author, as i believed i went through the same situation with my ex. We were together for 3 years and i ended it. But, i'm thankful that we're still friends even after all the things that we went through.
***************************************************************************************
Marriage as portrayed in this book is a stage when you see yourself as a giver rather than a receiver. You're always wanting to give the best and not expecting too much from your spouse. Marriage is also about accepting one as he/she is and complementing each other to lead a just life. I like the way the author pictured it; 'kebaikan dan kelebihannya disyukuri, kelemahannya diredhai'. How blissful!
The author also talked about the Irish culture on treating their young ones. They always take the time and effort to listen to what their children have to say. They even entertain the endless queries from their children (just like the advert by Petronas 'ayah, ni burung apa?'...sweet). They also have the time to take their kids for a stroll at the park.
Infact, I even noticed this type of culture among the Brits in the UK. It is normal to see parents walking their children at the park, young daddies pushing the stroller at malls etc. Me and a good friend of mine (kak yuni) would always observed this scenario and commented on it. We would always say 'jangan harapla nak tgk this kind of situation kat Malaysia, very rare to witness'. Then we would pray 'hopefully dpt husband mcm th, ameen'. :) You see, it is good to become observant of other cultures of the world so that we can adopt what's good from them and learn from the consequences of the not-so-good things that they do. I'm thankful to God for the opportunities.
Not just that, even among the elder couples (probably around 60's or 70's), i could still see them holding hands when they walk. Sweet!~ (^_^)On the other hand, a different situation in Malaysia, it's difficult to see married couples (after a few years of marriage, especially those with kids) holding hands when they walk. Masa couple je beriya nak pegang tangan xnak lepas~ A sad situation. *sigh~* How i wish things would be different...
****************************************************************************************
To encapsulate things, these are generally the few main ideas that i learn from my reading:
1) kita tidak perlu memulakan hubungan jika dalam jangka masa terdekat, tiada kemungkinan perhubungan itu akan dinaik taraf menjadi perkahwinan...
2) komitmen 'atas angin' yang tidak disegerakan kepada sebuah perkahwinan sering berakhir hanya disebabkan oleh emosi yang diterjemahkan ia sebagai JEMU... (oh, very true~ tskkk)
3) in a marriage, kebaikan and kelebihan our spouse haruslah disyukuri and kelemahannya diredhai...because marriage is about complementing one another for the betterment of all.
4) marriage is not all about being on cloud 9 at all times, there are the ups and downs that the married have to go through
5) parents aren't always right...listen to what your children have to say...they also have their own faculty of thoughts.
6) adopt whatever good values that we can learn from other people's culture and learn from their mistakes
Wallahu'alam~
p/s: Read the book for a clearer picture and better understanding of the ideas. I'm basically writing from my own understanding of what i read, injecting a little bit of my views ad experiences in it...happy reading! (^_^)
Friday, 23 October 2009
Berjimba bersama rakan :)
Thursday was a great day. Thanks to ijad and the others who actually planned (and joined in) for the splendid outing :)
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Today i learnt a new word from Zye; berjimba. It really suited the context of the day whereby me and a bunch of dear friends went ice skating, makan2, bowling (and even laughing at our own acts) and wrapped up the day with an awesome movie 'Papadom'.
Ice skating was fun! The last time i went for one was in Bradford, UK in 2007 (which was quite a long time ago). So, having to skate again after such a while gave me shivers because i could imagine myself thumbling and slipping all over the place! :p In fact, my thighs were hurting from the previous day's futsal match that we had...so i was undecided whether to skate or not. However, since that would most probably be the last time for us to have fun ice skating together, i finally tagged along. Thank goodness, i didn't fall while ice skating. Ngeee~ :) We really had fun.
We went for a dinner at a kopitiam. We were obliviously starving at that time, and so ordered ourselves delicious food and tasty drinks. I had beef fried rice together with hot honey jasmine tea. I love the aroma and the taste of the tea...I can still smell it..hehe :p Others ordered thai style fried rice, pattaya fried rice and etc.
After makan2, we went for a round of bowling. I teamed up with gg, kak yuni, fuzzy and also zye while the other team; ijad, fara, auni, hani and nedd. Fara was the star of the day since she striked a plenty of times which evetually made them the winning team..kudos guys! :) Even though my team lost to fara's team, we still enjoyed ourselves and laughed our hearts out at our own acts. Oh yes! And of course, we even had time to pose while bowling.
To wrap up the fun-day-out, we decided to go for a movie. Papadom was of course our choice since we received sooo many good comments about the movie. As described, the movie was interesting. A mixture of feelings; sadness & laughters. I loved it.
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Overall, it was a great day out with a bunch of great friends. I hope i've described the meaning of berjimba correctly :p Can't wait for another round of berjimba bersama rakan2! (^_~)
Sunday, 18 October 2009
A change...
I get bored quite easily. I want something fresh and new. I want a change, and that is why i'm shifting my blog from friendster's blog to this one. It still holds the same title, a little of something. So, holla readers! :)
Heedlessness
Heedlessness affects the faculty of thought and restrains us from intellectual thinking. Apparently, we hardly take the time to engross in deep thinking. Often, we choose to be at a heedless state to escape ourselves from the many responsibilities that are ‘burdened’ upon us. But, have we ever thought how; long and how far can we run away from those responsibilities?
If we try to reflect back and think of all the little happenings in life, we would see and marvel at the wonders of God’s creation. Sadly, we frequently commit ourselves in unneccessary thinking that leads us to the misapprehension of our roles and responsibilities as a being. For instance, we always find the time to reflect on worldly affairs such as on our endless love and relationship issues that are not that much worth of thinking compared to issues that should be of priority such as ‘what should i and shoudn’t i do today to make me a better person’, ‘what would have happened if i woke up this morning without the ablity to speak or see? am i prepared for that?’.
Unfortunately, being in a heedless state is surprisingly a cultural heritage. Have we ever encountered a situation whereby we think a lot about an issue that is worth of thinking, but then, the people around us would ask us not to think too much about it? Well, i have. So, i believe it is crucial for us to encourage deep thinking as it may lead us back to the realization of our roles and responsibilities as a being in God’s world. And hopefully from there, we will try to do something, make a small move to acheive God’s blessings and to plant the seeds for the crops that we can harvest and benefit in the Hereafter.
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