all that's needed..a screwdriver and a hammer

No, it definitely doesn't work that way. Not all things can be mended with a screwdriver nor a hammer. That's surely not the way to mend something that is as fragile as a broken heart.

I guess having high expectations on something won't really pay off. When expectations aren't met, it causes disappointments and frustrations. So does having high hopes. You wished it would turn out with a happy ending. Yet, some things just don't work their way as how you expected and really wanted it to be, turn out to be a haywire and bang, you'd find cursing at yourself for the false hopes and dreams that you've been weaving.

What a waste. You're emotionally, mentally and physically drained. And in the end, you'd find yourself locked up in a lowly lit room, sobbing and dreading over the shattered dreams and hopes. Pillows all wet from the streaming of tears.

Then you start to rationalize and realize, this isn't the way. This definitely is not the correct way if you wish to fix things. So you try to gather all your might and strength, wipe the wet cheeks from the tears, pull yourself out from bed, scroll up the curtains and let the light peek through the window. There, one small step to turning over a new leaf.






That's just how things are in life. Not all things are meant for you to be achieved. There are hiccups at times. You trip and you stumble. A deep cut on your knee. It bleeds, painful. As time flies, the wound will heal itself and again, you're free to skip and dance to the joyous melody.


'...no matter how severe the trauma is, if it can mend itself, it will definitely be stronger than before. That's how the body works' (mukhlis, 2010)

ticking the checklist

2010 Year End To Dos Checklist

1) UPSR
2) SPP interview
3) UPSR result
4) School holiday
5) attend weddings of friends

Here are a few of my year end to do checklist.

#1. Ticked.
I was one of the Pangawas Peperiksaan. It was hard to see the students that I jaga sitting for the papers and at the same time thinking how my own babies were doing at school. Everybody prayed hard for the kids to do well in the exam. And so did I. Hopefully my babies managed to answer the papers well.

#2. Ticked.
The interview was dated on the 4th of November at BTPN Kuantan. I spent the two weeks before the date revising on the 'Dasar2' in the Education stream, recalling the lecture given by Dr. Sofi on PIPP back in IPBA, the National Educational Philosophy tutorials with Dr. Rajagopal and Mr. Ng, teaching approaches classes as well as Professional Development talks by Dr. Boon, Dr. Lawrence and the R&D team.
At the same time, I had to juggle my duties as a teacher and also the vice president of the teachers and staff club; marking exam papers, keying in the marks in the database, typing out the paperwork for the club's family day, etc. It was hectic.

Left for Kuantan on the 3rd, after school, skipping the end of year school meeting because i was concerned the meeting might end rather late and i had to find a place to stay that night. Got lost in Kuantan. Thank God abg Shark installed Garmin on my mobile, so with the help of the gprs, managed to find the place i intended to go. Checked in at CitiLite Hotel, in Kuantan and did my last reading before going to bed at around 9.00pm.

I entered the interviewing room at 9.20 am and came out at 9.50am. I was in the room for half an hour but it didn't feel like so. I was the fourth person to be interviewed by a very nice-motherly lady by the name of Pn. Halimah. I think the interview went well. I hope so. I remember, one of the questions that the lady asked was what is my target for UPSR. I told her i targeted 10 of my students to get A for their English paper. She was surprised. I wondered why.

#3. Ticked.
The UPSR result was announced. I arrived at school and was straightly told that news had been spreading that 10 of the year 6 students got straight As. I was delighted yet i held back since we did not officially receive the result. Not just yet. But deep down inside, i was hoping that the rumour was true. And so it was. Alhamdulillah.

#4. Pending.
School holiday is just around the corner. To be precise, in three days time. Will head back to Kedah and enjoy the company of family members, insyaallah. Really looking forward to it.

#5. Pending.
Kak Wani is getting married in December, and a few others too. I am truly happy for them that they are finally marrying someone that they love. I will try to make it to their wedding receptions, insyaallah. In addition, somebody very close to me will also be entering his new phase of life real soon, so i wish him happiness.

God bless. May 2011 be a lucky and an even better year for you and for me. Ameen.

why God created beaches

I am a big fan of beaches. I love the sea, the sand, the waves, the breeze, the salty smell; mesmerizing. I love the tranquility that is there. I can sit there for ages, doing nothing and simply staring at the sea. I think that is why God created beaches. For humans like me to marvel His creation and Him as the Almighty Creator.

a genuine satisfaction

I feel like skipping, whistling (though i don't know how to) and singing happily now. I feel bubbly and i am seriously on cloud nine. Hehehe :p Nope, it has nothing to do with men, that's for sure. But it is about my passion and my love towards teaching. My first year of teaching is a pure bliss when all the hard work is rewarded.

Honestly, I'm still not over the success yet. Alhamdulillah, I am extremely proud of my students. They really did well in the UPSR and their results are overwhelming. Well, to others it might seem nothing. But to me, it is worth the effort, hard work and sacrifice. I now feel the satisfaction from teaching; when the students do well in their exams and prove that they learned something from the teachings :) owh, blissful! ^_^

However, i was truly touched when a mother of one of my students told me that it was me who actually inspired her child to do well in the exam. The child told his mother that he wanted to be like me. Though i'm just a mediocre, just another face in the crowd, i am happy that i have managed to at least touch a student's heart...hoping to touch more little hearts and make a difference in their life.

Alhamdulillah..I thank you Allah for the endless blessings.

the footsteps

you come,
you leave,
leaving behind a trail;
the footsteps.

seasons change.
endless tides hit the shore.
yet the footsteps remain.
and I am never the same, ever again.